It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
