so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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