I accidentally burped into my bong.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize