So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize