Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it glows. i had to have it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
