Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
