just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
