I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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