Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
