and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
where are my eyebrows?
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