Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just had sex bonerless
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
