Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
