i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize