what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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