All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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