i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
