Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
