Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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