No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
