Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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