That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
