I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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