Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
