what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
