So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
