i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
