we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
