I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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