I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
