Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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