Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Houston, we have a squirter
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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