Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In other news, I just burned my penis
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
