i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
