just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
