Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
