I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
