Nicole vs. Life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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