Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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