Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How naked do you want me to be?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
