no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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