I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
