Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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