I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
