super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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