He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
