I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Randomize
