Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
