3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
