so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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