There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize