I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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