I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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