I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Operation Purity has been aborted
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize