Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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