I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
