i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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