just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
