I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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