Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
