his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
