I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
