Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
