Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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