one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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