Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
